The line between writing this for God and writing this for us (you and me) is so jumbled I can barely recognize it. My inclination is to stay well within the area where I write and sound so humble and good that it causes you to somehow give me a pat on the back. In fact, that’s what I’ve always wanted. For you, every single one of you – anyone – to tell me I am doing a good job at being who I am.
The problem is that this is not the kind of person I long to be – the one in need of approval. It is such a tiring task to please other people. I have tried and tried all of my life and I have gained nothing but pure exhaustion – on top of constant disappointment in myself. I long to live a life of transparency where I no longer give in to the temptation of hiding my iniquities or of simply being different from everyone else.
This is my goal: “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10
I consider having a blog a first step toward this goal. I suppose it is a cowardly step – being that I can hide behind a computer and all – but it’s a step nonetheless. I figure I will eventually run into most of you reading this anyway – so it’s almost like I’m being myself but just in really slow motion.
Ok…so – here’s to being transparent!
I feel like I need a million disclaimers about how I promise this blog won’t be so serious all of the time, etc. But NO! I will not put in disclaimers! This blog is what it is and I am Who i Am.